Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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