there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
