So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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