i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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