may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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