Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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