Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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