So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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