The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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