That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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