You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
