she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wear drunk well.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
