At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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