Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
