hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
