We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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