I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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