handjob tips. give me some.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just want nice things and good sex
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
