discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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