Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
