i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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