Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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