I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
