dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A bitchslap is in order.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
