Whod you bang
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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