: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
