his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
