this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
