sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize