My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize