how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
