Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
