He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
