i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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