I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
