You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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