I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
