Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
