It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i think i just lost a toe
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
