from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
even my farts smell like vagina
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
