This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
