He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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