I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
