I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
