I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
