I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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