the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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