Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
