I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
