my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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