we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
