Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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