i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
