I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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