white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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