Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Randomize
