you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
