O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
