im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
